recycling is fun

i love throwing the glass and tin cans into the recycle bin and hearing the clings and clangs. guessing which bottle will smash. i know of no theory which can guarantee you a 100% correct guess record. for i thought i had it until threw the last one and guessed incorrectly. dont you hate it when you lie to yourself about those kind of things. pretending you got it right and you know you were wrong. common occurrence in your life and you should shoot yourself: full stop, period.

moral of this story
the moral of this song,
is one should not be where one belong.

disclosing infomation

i would like to spend the next five minutes here writing my bank details so you can hack on to my account and use my money. but i wont. instead i will talk about london. in particular london on the 10 november. this is when london came to a halt because of an unprecedented number of students whom took to the streets against the proposed higher education cuts. it was a show of defiance, encouragement that we know what is right. the regressive nature of the cuts make it a completely unacceptable policy that should be stopped. how to go about it? violence, demonstrations, strikes, party. i dont know but do something and do it know.

winter warmth

the best things about england:

fried full english
warm duvet beds in winter
friendly people who seem friendlier for all the unsociable dicks you usually meet
roast dinners
cheap alcohol
binge drinking
crude, sarcastic, vulgar culture

and, a one off entrant to the list in light of recent events:

protesters who know how to riot.

sickwans.

curry mile.

now i feel back, just walked through my favourite strip, curry mile. plumes of shisha wafting out the arabic shops, bright lights from the neon bollywood record shop, people buying their vegetables in pakistani rupee, fat indian man chewing on his paan with a toothless mouth, smell of tandoori chicken, the friendly smile from the check out woman at the green grocers, the sounds of sub-continent dialects, , the begging woman and then the blacked out mercedes with little northern patter wetting me, just in case i forgot where i was.

nivea sos.

what ever happened to wireless internet in a double bed on a full stomach of roast chicken?

uni thats what happened.

distance and perspective

distance and perspective are tit and tat. your perspective on shit changes with distance. a new perspective affects your emotional distance. im pretty far away right now, and the further away from something you are the easier it is to see the broader picture. both on your focus, and on where you stand. this is all pretty airy fairy, really, and doesnt have much to do with anything.

more importantly, im getting some yumcha tomorrow (yumcha, for you british, is a chinese style way of eating where the food is carried to all the tables around the restaurant on carts rather than ordering your food after looking at a menu). good food, rotated permanently around the tables on their worthy thrones, delivered right to your plate in an endless cycle of deliciousness. desert can come at any point, and the best thing is you dont know when to expect it. an easy little cliche for life, because the roast duck only comes round occaisionally and even if you dont want it when its right by your table you know you should probably take it, because it might not come around again until after you're gone.

upside down

im on the other side of the world, ennit. a lot of people say its a myth that shit's upside down over here. i dunno what they're talking about, everything seems pretty upside down to me.

happiness comes in a circular motion

what is one unit of happiness? no one answer covers all bases. how do we secure happiness? no one answer covers all bases. it can sometimes be elusive, subtle whilst other times it is encompassing. happiness for me comes in circular motions. sometimes it’s simple sensual activity like smell that reminds you of a meal or a tune that reminds you of a night. however more often than not it’s a situation that releases my endorphins that clear my head and I can realise how lucky I am.  

short people

few things make me as happy as watching short people stride purposefully, eyes screwed on their iphone/blackberry going to the next destination with a vengeance. for this moment of the day they must feel important like they are actually of use to the world and not just a butt of a joke. for i am from a family of giants.

an old favourite:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1NvgLkuEtkA

blog standard

just to keep the lid on our growing commitment to this thing, i want to drop a pun that will blow your minds. gradually we get lost - as most middle-class white teenagers do whilst trying to establish their jaded, individual personalities - in the depth of our own irony. sometimes its hard to find our way to the surface, with the dark murky waters of sarcasm boiling in our ears, water so dark and murky we cant even tell if we're being serious any more. and as you begin to run out of air and black out clinging to that desperate hope of what must surely be inevitable sincerity, you die. it happens every day, people in their twenties and thirties realising they've been living-dead, the last breaths of sincerity so distant they can't even remember when exactly they took them. so just before our last breaths, let me just make sure, let me assert myself by saying that: we really are just blog standard.

smug

you know when you wait in the queue anywhere i.e. post office, bank, airline check-in... . don't you always wonder why people would take so long at the desk, for when it is me i am finished with my business in 20 secs flat. well the other day a wave of smugness hit me when i was at a uni office desk sorting out some work malarky and it took a whole 5 minutes..

how the tables had turned and all those suckers had to wait for once.

breather

soft lighting and a soft soundtrack, zero 7 in a warm room and warm bodies and its hard to remember its cold outside. a little bit of gentle distraction is enough to massage those disrupted nerves, irritated by the workstress, and its not even soppy enough to feel guilty.
you cant always blog angry, and its time for diso to take a breather. our inspiration has an important date in london, her first breath of the fame that im sure will soon fill her lungs. of course, she'll ride on our coattails, but we'll let her take the first step.

im trying to find some angry irony but to be honest its a little difficult. so here's some senseless honesty:  dont take any of this blogshit serious.

status update

The world can be divided between those who update and those who don't. I'm a non-updater. originally i never understanded why people would broadcast what their cat/iguana just did. (N.B. people update tend to have pets). my theory is now that people who update ususally are just notification whores. who fill a sense of relief/happiness when they sign on to see a little red box in the top left hand corner. updaters are in a facebook active group who all comment on eachothers status' and create faux cyber happiness.

this was sparked by my itunes shuffle putting two songs perfectly together. i wanted to update but couldnt, because of my morals.

braces

cunts who are over 15 years old with braces (train tracks across your teeth) should probably fuck off to another world. you are a ridiculous excuse for humanity. besides crooked teeth are in fashion. having said that if your in a car crash and need your teeth putting back together by all means go ahead to the orthodontist so she can ram some alloy in your mouth.

today was meant to be a happy moving in a day, however some over-15year old brace wearing cunt ruined it for me. he had long hair as well <- clearly hadnt been in a car accident. I am now in a room bare as a newborn because i have all my shit packed raring to go, while he squanders around pruning himself and wanking into his mouth, cutting his cock on the alloy ridges.

have a nice day.

drugfilth

a drug blown wind sweeps through the blog carrying a waft of pretentious overconfident life judgment, and i feel like i can tell you all about the best way to live your life and why. in fact i slept with mandy and she was so hot she gave me a great sense of self importance, and because i was so high suddenly all my opinions were the best.

cold

it is cold in manchester. i think it is time to invest in some gloves. what to wear though no one knows. im a cyclist, suprisingly. so i want ones which can deal with a bit of wear and tear but also look good. then comes the hat which will just have to be the fluorescent yellow beanie jobie. which i think sets the impression that im gabrial salassi.

culinary edge:
english mustard is more versatile than french mustard, controversial i know. im in that frame of mind right now that suggests things should be bold, no subtlty, hence english mustard. perhaps thats a reflection on myself or manchester. having spat those bars. the frenchie's know a good mustard from a bad.

mods are dead

paul weller look a like in my maths lecture either makes my tuesday worth while or ruins it. you are a funny one. you stroll in with your straight dark mod hair and i skream knob in my head. your strut, shoulders back, one ipod headphone in your ear, the pointed shoes and fitted blazers. what the fuck mate?? however it has taken me a few weeks to realise though i think you may be cool. .../ why

because it is in no way possibly cool. however you aint no hipster.


bes

lifemeal

on the other hand, depression can be nice. a nice little bit of warm self pity gives you a great taste of self-importance, you stop really caring what other people think of you so any issues to do with confidence kind of disappear. i guess maybe thats because the confidence has disappeared too, but by that stage it doesnt really matter. nothing better than sitting with a group of friends with a great feeling of elevated alienation. some lonely self reflection can be great company.

on the other hand, i guess being depressed all the time might be kind of lame. maybe the trick is having a bit of both. my friend tripped his balls off and came up with this interesting idea that happiness is the result of relief. you get that warm gooey feeling of happiness when you are relieved from sadness. like you just break up with some fitty, and thats lame, and you feel shit, and the feeling of happiness comes from being relieved of that feeling, or meeting some new hot-trot ladyfriend. so maybe the way to the most consistent happiness is exposing yourself to situations that will have your emotions going up and down all the time. which links into that spicey thing. if you're always adding spice to your lifemeal, even though sometimes you'll get burned and your face will go red and everyone will laugh at you, at the end of the day those little reliefs you get from a good combination of spices will make your life that bit happier. how about that for a thoughtful morsel.

heinz tomato soup

on a culinary edge:

• i was once recommended by an economics teacher by the initials of JLM that the best accompaniment to a heinz tomato soup is a cheddar cheese sandwich. not true. it is a dollop of fresh greek yoghurt, fact.

• running on a sunday with eight mutual friends in the evening autumnal light, is rather pleasant. eating cold rice with too much of harrisa, worcetershire sauce, and pickled chillies is not. 

pleasure is spent in optimism. i reckon you cant be happy if not positive. as a matter of fact everything is rather dull in life, and if you dont liven it up with some spice or something new, you rot. once you begin to rot, i beleive depression kicks in. no one likes that.

happy days

Had a lovely day which warmed my cockles up. woke up at midday feeling rested and then got balls deep in marx. nothing wrong with that.

then went to a flat down the road. in nines.  for a cup of tea and choco muffin. after jumped on a quick cycle to the ultra hip northern quarter. bought some lamb mince and more. also got these two amazing hawianshirts for 25% off. these will be coming out with a revenegnce!!!. got back to the flat down the road. and started cooking up a shepherds pie.  absolutely head over heals with the channel 4 food video instructions. instead of boring yourself with reading the method, you can watch gordo acting flash gordon on ya'll arse and whip it up en ensemble in 1.50sec. genius.

boght only double recipe allocated but there was 3x more people. the food went all around but everyone got charity small portions.

cooking is what its all about. if if it goes successfully you can get instanst gratification. people either like or they dont. simple. and whilst your cooking you got some music some wine some chats.  natural high. very rewarding.  empty plates at the end. happy days.

bes

crossing the line

stop breaking down! in the morning after a big one and all the fun from last night is compressed in your head and stomach, trying to get out, making itself known, you always wonder why. why did i get so slaughtered, why did i drink to the point where all of a sudden pronouncing words properly is secondary in importance to getting another beer, and my perception of cool and uncool is so distorted it has completely flipped. and now writing here on this blog i've got the same embarassed feeling i get when i wake up after a raucous night out, because its one of those things that is just faintly embarassing. whether there's something in particular you did wrong or not, its just that faint knowledge that overall, in general, throughout the night you didnt really act like you. and on a blog, whether you sound like a turd or an absolute genius, you really cant escape that horrible awkward feeling that what you're writing isnt really quite like you. ironically, this probably is.

in a message to my other half on another screen a few hundred metres away, is this getting too serious? im thinking about posting this but i really dont know. and how was your night?

as a moral vigilante, life-saving theif, fighting the exploitation of the agri-class. stepping infront of the torrent, stopping only drops of the endless stream, but staying there none the less. consider an alternative method to explicit protest, and stuff some wine in your bag instead. tastes better, and much more effective.

i think it might have just been a one blog thing

new comers

we all know the tiger messes with the head.

im going straight to the crukx, expressing my mind on the new look blog. we are hear to express the world through the eyes of lovers haters wearers eaters. its a bit chilly in here im not gonna lie. 1st rule dont drink through a massage, whats the second?? no one knows.

topics, vitamen water and htc. both over rated shit junk. problem with vitamen water is the fact that ive never paid for it. every festival, or open event beautiful woman hand you out the seven different flavours. with things on the label like "helps beat your grandma in an arm wrestle"  WHO THE FUCK WANTS TO DO THAT!!!! cunts. i here people asking for the one which boosts immune system., bollocks. sell outs. ...

now htc phones. i see lots children touting theses confused faces with phones that just dont work. it takes IT PHD level to work how to add a phone number or text or use any phone function, it is the touch malakry that only iphones have successfully completed. im happy with my 35 euro nokia. get to know. ...



theyve always been small and humble. shakira tits.

diso

this tiger balm is really messing with my head. in the fashion world shit's always changing, and sometimes its hard to keep up. the best way is to tie yourself to something so you get dragged along. that way you're never that far behind, although to be fair you're never up front either. but you might be ugly so that might be for the best.
this tiger balm is reaaally messing with my head. blogging is something i think you need to do. give me liberty. its a joint effort, two of us, and maybe in the future there might be three, or even more than three. we're heavily influenced by a real blog, called discotheque confusion, but that was a bit too difficult to understand so we decided to mix it up a bit. give me liberty. dont forget your roots bruv. on the other hand we dont always blog about fashion, we tend to blog about some other things too. real life things, anything that picks our nose. dont expect to read about anything in particular. it might be okay though.

yesterday was a night that probably ranks around some of my most above average nights, because it happened to be good when it didnt seem like it would. you all know what im talking about. ... . trof was there, and it was a birthday or two. they came one after the other and in succession, although its difficult top say which one was best. i think maybe the second one, because the first one only really kicked off when it was almost over. i really want to join a massage society, because this tiger balm is really messing with my head.

i might take a leak so the other one will take over.

mij